DANCE WITH DECEPTION
LBF Books, ISBN: 1-897370-31-8
Release Date: November 28, 2007

Read Excerpt #1 | Read Excerpt #2

Excerpt #1:

“Why don’t you marry the man who makes you happy?”

As if it were that simple. Sebastian was just like her brother. Neither knew what it is like to be required by law to do as your father, your guardian, bid. Neither understood the consequences of crying off and the scandal that would ensue.

Gwen resented the law that deemed her rights insignificant, she resented her father for imposing his duty on her and, even more so, she resented Sebastian’s casual tone, his nonchalance. She wanted to incite him, make him feel a little piece of her plight.

She turned to face him, choosing words that she knew would do the most damage to his ego. “Pray tell, who might that be? The man that makes me happy, that is?”

“Don’t play games with me.” His gaze was sharp and judging. “You know the answer to that. Taunting me won’t make you feel better.”

Instead of being humbled by his words, as she knew she ought to be, Gwen’s anger heightened.

Taunting him would make her feel better. Because she was angry. Because she felt helpless.

And because he was there.

“I am marrying Keir,” she insisted.

“Why?” Sebastian’s tone told her his anger was rising. “Why don’t you fight for yourself, get out of this unwanted marriage. It’s not like you to be so docile, so willing to sacrifice your own happiness—”

“How do you know who I am or what is in character for me?” She didn’t allow him to reply. “Knowing me for several weeks doesn’t grant you omnipotence. Nor does it give you the right to judge me.”

“Tell me you want to marry him,” he ordered. When her response wasn’t immediate, he tipped her chin up, forcing her to face him once more.

Gwen’s tone softened, but only somewhat. “What difference does it make to you? Why do you need to hear the words?”

He persisted, “Do you want to marry him?”

“He wants to marry me.” She skirted his question, unable to admit the truth.

“I have no doubt about that,” Sebastian replied, his baritone steady and strong. “I want you, too.”

Gwen blinked, taken off guard by his admission. She slumped against the tree’s trunk as her knees had gone weak.

Her mind raced as erratically as her pulse. Sebastian wanted her. It was no admission of love, nor was it a marriage proposal, but still … he wanted her.

The knowledge should have excited her. Instead, Gwen’s heart sank. She wanted him to love her, she realized. Disappointment hung heavy in her chest.

“So, now we have a conflict.” Sebastian’s sensual voice swept over her like waves rushing against the ocean shore. “Two men want you. Let’s try to see who is better suited for you, shall we? How does Keir kiss you?”

Gwen’s cheeks warmed and her heart began pounding uncontrollably as she recalled Sebastian’s passionate, mind-numbing, senses reeling kisses.

Keir’s cold, chaste kiss was nothing in comparison. He didn’t possess Sebastian’s raw masculinity, nor did he rouse the same passion, however she wouldn’t defame her future husband by saying so.

“Keir kisses beautifully,” was all she could muster. By the arch of Sebastian’s brow, Gwen was certain she hadn’t convinced him. How could she? When Sebastian kissed her he seemed as if he couldn’t get enough of her so she added, “Keir can’t get enough of me.”

Sebastian clenched his fists at his sides. The thought of another man unable to get enough of her infuriated him. Was she telling the truth? He had to know.

He studied her face, searching for a clue in her telling brown eyes. When he’d looked into them at the Stockton’s ball, he thought he’d seen right into her soul. On this afternoon, she kept them well hidden behind her veil.

Could she really want to marry the Earl? Was her fiancé truly such a ardent man? Jealously swept over Sebastian. He would make her forget her Earl. It was his solemn vow as he embraced her, crushing his lips against hers.

He kissed her passionately, determinedly, not allowing her time to think or back away. His arms encircled her, as if she would belong to him forever.

Gwen leaned against his tall frame, his urgent kiss causing waves of heat to course through her veins. Why did Sebastian’s kisses drive her out of her mind with desire?

She shouldn’t allow his kiss; she must pull away. As if sensing her dilemma, Sebastian wrapped his arms tighter around her.

He then plunged his tongue deeper into her mouth and she was tempted to forget about her fiancé, just this once, but her conscience screamed in protest. She couldn’t dishonor Keir in this manner. Even if she didn’t love him; certainly she’d never be attracted to him.

Gwen squeezed Sebastian’s shoulders, fighting to steady her reeling senses. Guilt reared its revolting head at the thought of her betrothal, her father and her obligations. It was as if she’d been doused with cold water.

Pushing against his chest, she created space between them then tore her mouth free of his. She averted her eyes and gasped for one breath. Then another. Sebastian didn’t release her from his impassioned embrace. Although Gwen knew that she should step away, a part of her yearned to remain there for an eternity.

She squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing audibly. She must have gone insane! There was no other viable explanation for her present state of chaos.

Gwen waited, allowing Sebastian to make a move. When he didn’t, relief flooded her senses. She’d done it! She had given him no choice but to retreat.

She’d won, but at what cost?

Sebastian leaned his forehead against hers. Seconds passed, maybe minutes. He lost track of time.

Why was he incapable of letting her go? And why, after so many years spent closing his heart, did Gwen affect him so? He searched the depths of his soul.

For many years, she’d been like a sister to him for God’s sake. Why did he lose his mind when he was with her? And why did she rob him of his ability to think rationally? He found no answers, just more confusion.

Sebastian wanted so much out of life when he was with her. He wanted her to champion him, to love him, to be devoted to him. And he yearned to hear her scream his name as he made love to her, penetrating her night after blessed night.

Breathless, his heart beat violently within his chest. Because of Gwen, he discovered he had a heart. It had been hidden for too long, ignored for too many years.

No more.

Gwen’s floral perfume intoxicated him. Sebastian remembered his mother’s letter, a scented parchment he received after her passing. He’d read it so many times, folded and unfolded it, it was now tattered. He knew her words by heart; those words that would be forever etched in his memory.

Someday, dear son, love will find you. I know you don’t believe it now but, in time, you will see that I’m correct. Please don’t run away from it … trust in love, dear son. And, when the time comes, follow your heart.

His mother’s prediction had come true. He had found the woman he wanted to marry, have a family with, and remain faithful to for the rest of his life.

How could Gwen be attracted to another man when she melted in his embrace? No matter how much she denied it, Sebastian knew she was attracted to him. Her passion ignited with every kiss, the flames stoked with every touch. Yes, Gwen’s feelings for him went deeper than she would now admit.

Only time would prove him correct, but he didn’t have time. If he didn’t act now, she would marry Keir and be forever lost to him.
Sebastian glanced down at her. She stood stock still in his arms. The passion they share is real. He tasted it on her lips, felt it in her every touch.

It was time she felt the magnitude of that attraction for herself.
He guided her face toward him then lifted the jade mesh that hid her eyes. She averted her gaze from his.

“Gwendolyn,” he whispered as he bent and nipped her ear. He’d never called her by her full given name. The impact of his action should convey his message.

He wanted her.

“Why are you fighting us?”

Gwen’s eyelids fluttered. His words registered slowly then she found her voice, “Us? There is no ‘us’.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Gwen swallowed the lump forming in her throat. “We have a bond, Gwendolyn.” Sebastian stroked the side of her face. “You feel it, too; I can tell. No words are necessary. Your body betrays you. Will you continue to deny what you feel?”

Gwen bit her lower lip. She couldn’t relent. I won’t give in. It became a chant. She repeated those four words in her mind in an effort to bolster her resolve.

“Look at me, Gwendolyn.” Sebastian stroked her cheek, and she complied.

His eyes mirrored the cobalt of the ocean and they seemed to be as rough with his desire.

He brushed his lips against hers. “Kiss me, Gwendolyn.” His tone exuded profound passion.

I won’t give in.

He nipped her bottom lip then licked it. “Don’t you want to kiss me?” he chided.

I won’t give in. She held her breath.

His tongue pursued a fiery path back up to her ear. “I couldn’t bear you denying me. Please, Gwendolyn, tell me you want to kiss me … please.”

His whispers were exceptionally raspy. Before she could stop herself the word “yes” rolled off her tongue, escaping her core in an impassioned whisper.

Sebastian cradled her face in his palms, tracing the outline of her lips with his languorous thumb.

“Kiss me, Gwendolyn,” he said, emphasizing the word “me”.

Tentative, Gwen inched her fingers toward the nape of his neck as she leaned into him, meeting his lips with her own. She then opened her mouth and began tracing his lips with her tongue, just as he had done to her lower lip.

He groaned a low guttural sound before crushing her to him and capturing her mouth with his own.

Gwen’s hands trailed down over his broad shoulders as her body molded to his. She had long lost her inner battle with her conscience. The sensations he ignited within her made her forget so quickly.
So very quickly.

Sebastian withdrew from her lips then reached up and unpinned her hat. He shook her thick tresses free of their tight chignon and his heart skipped a beat as her mahogany curls cascaded over his hands. He’d yearned to do so since seeing her across a crowded ballroom just weeks before.

He sought her gaze. It gave him permission to kiss her once more. He then eased his lips over hers and teased her with his tongue, lingering at her lips before he traced a path to her temples, his kiss covering her eyelids. Savoring every moment, he eased back to her lips to taste her.

Would she allow him to deepen his kiss, his exploration of her body? Sebastian took her hands in his and led her down to the lush green grass that blanketed the earth. He struggled to control his passion for her but his arousal became greater as did his need to possess her … body and soul.

Excerpt #2:

Gwen then changed into a gray riding habit – one not likely to attract attention – then removed her ermine cape and gloves from her wardrobe before creeping down the servant's stairwell. She picked up a lantern along the way, exiting the house through the servants' wing.

On her way to the stables, Gwen inhaled the scent of rain in the air. Fog hovered inches from the ground while dew clung to her skirts.

The night was dark, much like her mood. Dense clouds hid the silver moon. It wouldn't soon resurface.

She saddled then mounted Majesty, racing toward the small chapel where she was to meet Sebastian. The cold and damp weather turned to a light mist and Gwen raised her hood over her head.

With each trot of her horse's hooves, she felt more betrayed. Tears blurred her vision.

Why did her own father not want her to be married to the man she loved? Every time she admonished him, the reality of his precarious health would hit her and compound her anxiety and guilt.

Gwen shivered again. Even her ermine cape couldn't ward off the chills that shuddered throughout her body.

There was no way she could marry Keir; not after his behavior tonight. Although crying off would ruin her reputation and disgrace her family, Gwen had no choice. To spend a lifetime with Keir would be sheer torture.

However, in spite of her refusal to marry Keir, she vowed to protect Sebastian and his sister from her own disgrace. He had given up so much for the betterment of his sister and Gwen refused to eradicate that by eloping with him and defaming his family's honorable name. Just when she thought her crying had subsided, a lone tear traced a path down her cheek. She had to give Sebastian up. It was the only way she could spare his family the scandal.

But how could she ever make him understand?

As sure as the sun would rise on the morrow, Gwen was certain Sebastian wouldn't understand her reasons. The next few hours would be the most difficult of her life.

Gwen blinked her eyes against the burning tears as they slowed to a canter, the small chapel now visible.

Enveloped by thick fog, it appeared gothic, even more so when the moon freed itself from behind thick clouds, illuminating it with an unearthly bluish glow.

Gwen's heartbeat thudding in her ears sounded almost as loud as Majesty's hooves pounding the hard earth.

She dismounted and tied the reins of her gelding to a nearby tree then entered the dark chapel. Squinting, her eyes adjusted to the darkness as she proceeded to the altar and kneeled.

Please God, help me.

Gwen prayed for another solution, one in which she wouldn't have to surrender Sebastian, yet she found no solace.

There was no other way.

She had to let him go.

Dear God, give me strength.

The creaking of the heavy oak entry door told Gwen Sebastian had arrived. She heard him place something on a pew before he walked the length of the aisle and knelt beside her, wrapping her in a tight embrace.

Gwen closed her eyes and leaned into him, aware that this would be the last night she would ever be in his arms.

"Have you been waiting long, darling?" he asked in a soft, tender voice.

Darling. Her heart thumped hard against her chest each time it beat. She imagined a lifetime of days and nights hearing Sebastian call her "darling" or a dozen equally endearing pet names.

She shivered from the dampness of the chapel. Or, it could have been from her heart aching.

"You're cold. Come with me; I brought some blankets and brandy." Sebastian wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and offered her a flask. "Sip some of this. It'll warm you," he said, offering her a reassuring smile.

As she sipped from the flask, her hood slipped off, pooling at her shoulders.

"You're crying." His hands trembled ever so slightly as he cupped her face. "What happened with your father tonight?"

She raised her lashes, eyes wide in surprise.

"Victoria told me that you would be confronting your father tonight," he explained as he wiped a tear with his thumb. "She was much too hopeful and excited to keep the information to herself."

More tears welled in her eyes. "Victoria shouldn't have told you. I asked her not to. I didn't want to raise your hopes."

"It matters not. We can marry without his consent," he suggested in a whisper.

She shook her head in denial. "You would never recover from the scandal."

"I don't care about scandal. It's you I care about."

Inches from him, she memorized his every single characteristic … The deep azure of his eyes; the woodsy scent of his cologne; the softness of his bronzed skin. She reached for him and traced the outline of his jaw with trembling fingers.

"That's not true. You care about your sister and have reshaped your entire life to keep her safe from scandal. You can't stop protecting her on my account."

"I can protect both of you," he was adamant. "And I will."

Gwen walked on unsteady knees to the window, clutching the blanket around her shoulders. His words were so determined.

Sebastian shadowed her. Smoothing her hair, he insisted, "I love you and I'm going to marry you."

It was the first time he said that he loved her. His words filled her heart to the point where she was certain it would burst.

He loved her.

She had longed to hear it for so long. And now that she had, now that she knew what she would be losing, a part of her wanted to accept Sebastian's offer of protection, scandal be damned. But her conscience, that nagging inner voice that she wished would shut up, wouldn't let her be selfish. No matter how much she wanted to. Gwen had no choice but to let him go. She loved him that much.

"I won't allow your sister to suffer because of me," she insisted, swallowing hard against the lump in her throat.

He gently coaxed her around to face him. "Please don't torment us any further."

"I can't marry—"

"You won't marry me," he corrected. "And I know why. You're using my sister as an excuse because you won't disobey your father."

"That's not true," she averted her gaze. She wanted to make him understand, but he never would. No matter how hard she tried.

Her chest constricted and she was certain her heart was breaking into millions of tiny fragments.

"You're willing to sacrifice your own happiness, and mine, for a father who has never showed you any affection." His tone was tinged with reproof. "Why Gwen? Tell me why."

"It's a daughter's duty to obey her father—"

"Don't you dare hide behind duty, Gwendolyn," Sebastian said, clutching her shoulders. "You know what you want, now fight for it."

She struggled to control the torrent of tears threatening to overtake her. "Sebastian, you d-don't understand."

He shook her in frustration. "Tell me then. Make me understand." "I don't want to hurt you."

"It's too late for that. I'm already hurting." Sebastian asserted, still shaking her.

His words betrayed his torment and Gwen silently cursed herself for her role in his heartbreak.

"Tell me why you're doing this to us." He wrapped her in his tight embrace, as if he decided that shaking her wouldn't provide him with the answers he sought. "I'm sorry," he whispered as kissed her head, her cheek, her neck.

"Please try to understand," she begged between sobs.

He rubbed the curve of her back in a soothing circular motion. "Do you love me?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.

"Of course I love you."

He tipped her face toward his, his features contorted into a mask of anguish. "Then how can you even think of promising yourself to another man for all your life?"

"Why can't you see that if we elope, neither you nor your sister would recover from such a scandal?"

"Damn scandal!" He pulled her closer to him. "Scandal will pass."

Gwen gripped the lapel of his great coat. "The ton is unforgiving and you know that. I won't sacrifice your sister for my own happiness, no matter how much I want to marry you."

"Please don't do this. You want me." He kissed her closed eyelids between words. "You know how much I want you."

Sebastian's sensual tongue trailed her cheeks then reached her lips, the taste of her salty tears lingering on them.

Her response to him was immediate and, in his passionate kiss, she could feel the desperation within him, how much he loved her.

Gwen wrapped her arms around the nape of his neck and gave into the passion of his kiss with the knowledge that this moment would have to last her for the rest of her life.

God, how I love this man.

She bequeathed her soul to him. It would never be recaptured by anyone else.

When their lips parted, Sebastian held her against his heart for an inexhaustible amount of time.

"I will make you happy," he vowed, as if he was certain she had changed her mind. "I swear to you, I will. And your father will come around, in time."

Gwen felt like she was going utterly insane. He wouldn't listen to reason. She had to end this, dash his hopes forever. But how?

God forgive me for what I'm about to do.

Gathering all of her strength to recite the words, she said with finality, "You could never be happy with me, Sebastian." Each word stabbed at her flesh like a sharp bladed knife.

His hand stilled on her back.

She buried her cheek against his warm chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart. Tears blinded her at the ruthlessness of her plan. "There have been many women before me and there will be many more after me. Do you honestly expect me to believe you will feel this same love for me next year? Or the year after?"

Sebastian tipped her chin up his eyes measuring her with a fiery stare. "Say you don't believe me to be so fickle."

Silence, thick and suffocating, filled the small chapel.

"Please tell me you don't believe me capable of that. Gwendolyn?" He was desperate, his tone told her so.

"I can't tell you that." Gwen couldn't breathe, her hateful words choking the very life out of her.

Sebastian winced at her harsh words then released her, putting distance between them. His eyes were now flat.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered then fled from the chapel.

Sebastian stood there, stunned, as he watched her run out of his life. His world, which for a few brief moments had been sunny with bright colors and vibrant dreams, was now dark and obscure.

She doesn't believe me.

When he first saw her, kneeling in prayer on the damp floor, the knot in his had stomach relaxed. He thought she was offering a prayer of thanks; he thought she'd agreed to marry him. But that constricting knot within his abdomen tightened once again at the sight of her swollen eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. It hadn't subsided and he was certain it never would.

Nor would he ever feel happiness again.

Sebastian rode home in a state of shock. Numb, he stabled his horse, headed to his study, and poured himself a tumbler of whiskey.

Another followed.

Then a third.

When he reached the bottom of the whiskey decanter, he'd moved onto his bottle of scotch.

How can she think I'm so fickle?

Sebastian looked back on his life. Gwen had been correct in saying there had been many women in his life, but that was when he was a young man. After viewing so many women humiliate themselves by chasing after his married father, he learned to view most females of the ton as greedy and manipulative.

He knew of no happy marriages. Convenient, yes, lacking warmth and passion at best. In his earlier opinion, marriage was the means to an end. A way of producing an heir. Nothing more.

His parents' marriage was depraved. His mother opened her heart to his father, placing it on display for all to see, loving her husband without shame while her husband abused and openly cheated on his wife, further humiliating her by inviting his mistresses to their London parties. Was it any surprise that Sebastian had no faith in love, let alone the institution of marriage?

Until he met Gwen.

What he wouldn't give for the chance to relive his life, to live for Gwendolyn or for the promise of her. Hell, if he'd had the foresight to know how she would fill his heart, he would have lived like a monk until he found her.

For the first time since his mother's death, tears fell freely. Sebastian wept for lost love and unanswered prayers.

Most of all, he wept because he had experienced at last the love his mother promised him. And Sebastian didn't want to relinquish her last precious gift.